Conference Call Etiquette

You can only imagine what precipitated this blog post.  I won’t name names, but this happens far too often.

This seems basic, doesn’t it? As professional adults, we should know what to do and what not to do.  As businesses embrace teleworking and alternatives, conference calls become a way of life. It seems like I’m on a call every day, and I’ve noticed a few patterns that are annoying to the other callers, and even rude.

  1. Be on time. This means be early. The chiming of callers coming on after the call has started is disruptive and it is disrespectful to everyone on the call.  Call in a minute or two early, then get your coffee or whatever you want to do.  Our phones are generally portable, so we aren’t tied to our desks as we were 10 years ago.  We can walk around and carry our phones with us.
  2. Mute your phone! I can’t emphasize this enough.  Your background noise is distracting to everyone, and it can even escalate beyond a simple distraction to a rude interruption. I’ve heard people snoring, conducting other conversations, and even going to the bathroom.  None of us need to hear that.
  3. Pay attention to what’s going on. There is usually a chat box and you should know what is going on.  This will help you avoid asking a redundant question and may also provide important clues on the topic and the culture of the group.
  4. NEVER interrupt the conference host. I had recently organized a conference call between three people.  Five minutes before the call, I got a text from one of the participants that he could not make it because he had another meeting.  I told him I was unable to reschedule and perhaps he could speak with this person at a later time.  I proceeded with the call, explained my colleague’s absence, then began going through my agenda.  About five minutes into the call, my colleague dialed in and interrupted our conversation.  He didn’t listen for a break in the conversation; he jumped in and talked over me, seemingly not even taking a breath.  When he finished his seven-minute bombast (yes, I timed it!), he said he was done and was going back to his meeting and abruptly hung it.  The conversation was thrown off tempo and his behavior was rude and arrogant. I am still dumbfounded that a professional would treat a colleague with such disrespect, though admittedly this was his pattern.

Our global society has made conference calls a necessity.  Following these few simple guidelines may help demonstrate your respect for your colleagues and can make these calls go more smoothly.

What am I going to do with my Dad?

For the record, I’m really talking about my dad’s ashes.  My dad died in 2016.  He is sitting in an urn in our living room, and I seem to get some sort of odd comfort in knowing where he is.  I didn’t really give this question much thought until our Boxing Day party, when a friend asked me who was sitting on the fireplace.  It took me a minute to realize he was talking about my dad.  This led to a discussion of scattering ashes and how to memorialize someone who has been cremated.

I love cemeteries.  I’ve been actively involved with Riverside Cemetery since we moved to Macon.  I love to go out and walk and look at the graves.  I love knowing where my grandparents and great-grandparents are buried.  But what am I going to do with Daddy?

At some point, my dad told someone he wanted his ashes scattered at Hanna Park in Jacksonville.  He might have told me; to be perfectly honest, my memory is fuzzy on some things.  There were a few things I really wanted to forget.  But I can’t scatter him.  I just can’t.

Part of it is the issue of memorializing, and this was my friend’s objection to scattering.  I find comfort in bringing flowers and going to the cemetery.  If I scatter him, how will anyone know where he is?  How will anyone remember he was even here?  Will anyone care?  Who will remember him when I’m gone? How do we memorialize him?

My step-father’s ashes are at the National Cemetery in Salisbury, North Carolina.  I told my mother we could put the two of them together and then I would only have to make one visit.  I thought it was pretty funny but my mother didn’t.

I am the person who makes decisions.  My daughter and I planned my father’s funeral.  My brother has not been involved and has said he really doesn’t care.  I care enough for both my brother and me.

I just don’t know what to do with Daddy.  Do I scatter him, as he wished?  I’m not ready.  But he deserves to be memorialized somewhere.  I just don’t know where.

Suzanne

Merry Christmas from the Minarcines

Merry Christmas!

Family, football games, a rocket launch, the musical Hamilton on Broadway, a trip to DC, and a little jaunt to Montana and one to Park City, Utah, have been some of our exciting adventures this year.  It seems like we covered almost as much distance as Santa does on Christmas Eve. Our 22-day Porsche road trip took us to no fewer than seven national parks and 16 states, with jaunts to Carhenge in Nebraska. We tugged on Superman’s cape in Metropolis, Illinois, and went up the arch in St. Louis.  We saw 96-degree temperatures and we saw snow in Yellowstone.  We went from 500 feet elevation to 12,000 feet.  This trip was a lifelong dream.

This was the year of cousins and I had the opportunity to see the University of Georgia play football for the first time after living in Georgia for 41 years. We saw the Vanderbilt game in Athens, then we went to Jacksonville for the Georgia-Florida game with one of Suzanne’s cousins and his wife.  Another of her cousins and his girlfriend provided us a home base for a visit to Cape Canaveral with one of our grandsons, Sloan. We awoke at 0300 and drove over to the Cape to watch a right on time launch of a Space X Falcon 9 rocket. The sky was clear, and we were able to watch the rocket climb into the sky, slowly nose over, and then disappear over the horizon.

We spent Suzanne’s birthday in New York City and saw Hamilton.  We made it into the Guinness Book of World Records on National Sikh Day, where Sikhs from all over gathered in Time Square to educate people about their faith and to tie turbans on 10,000 people.  It was a spiritual experience that we will never forget.

Our goal is to take each of our nine grandchildren on an exciting trip, at least once every three-years.  Sloan chose a rocket launch and Jacob chose Washington, D.C.  Jodi had testified before the State House and Senate for the Hands-Free Georgia Bill that was signed in July, and Jacob had accompanied her to the Capitol numerous times and was present when Governor Nathan Deal signed the bill into law in July.  Suzanne worked some wonderful magic and arranged meetings with Senator Johnny Isaacson, Senator David Purdue, and Representative Austin Scott. Representative Scott’s office arranged a private tour of the Capitol for us, which was even more special since the intern was one of the Mercer University football players.  We participate in “Feed the Bears” each fall as Mercer football season begins, and our intern was one of the eight football players who came to dinner.  He’s always happy to see us at the games!

Our last trip of the year was to Park City, Utah, where we enjoyed spending time with dear friends from Charlotte and one of our young friends in Salt Lake City.  Sometimes family has nothing to do with blood.  We explored the area and hit the highlights we missed on our three-week road trip, including the Winter Olympics Training Facility, Wendover Air Field, and the salt flats.  It snowed while we were there, and we think we’ve already seen enough snow for 2018.

Suzanne has cut back on work and now teaches part time at two schools, which allows us to do more traveling and to spend more time with family. Her book, Lessons From My Father, will be released in August, so she’s busy enough working with her publisher.  With choir, church, family, and friends, there are plenty of activities to keep us busy. It has been an excellent year, and we look forward to the coming year to see what adventures await us!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Suzanne and Bob Minarcine

 

Respect. Turn OFF your PHONE!

Where do I even begin? It is bad enough that people check their phones in church, and yes, I admit I’m guilty. But that’s between me and God and between you and God. But the THEATRE????? During a performance????

Here are three reasons to turn off your phone before any theatre performance.

  1. People have paid for tickets. The light from your screen distracts everyone around you. Turn it off.
  1. You are setting a bad example for any young people around you. Have you forgotten how to be PRESENT???
  1. The actors and musicians have worked an unbelievable amount of hours to give you an outstanding performance. They’ve rehearsed for weeks, lost sleep, skipped meals, and sacrificed their time and energy to memorize their lines. Then, if it is a musical, they’ve learned music AND dances. They know where they are to be every minute while they’re on stage. To have gotten up the nerve to audition is huge, and to have been selected in a very competitive process is an honor and a privilege. It is hard work. You do not have the right to throw cold water on their moment in the spotlight.

I love live theatre, whether it is on Broadway, off-Broadway, in Atlanta, or here in Macon, Georgia. We have some of the finest community theatre companies in the southeast.

I could write about talking and rustling paper, and coming in late, but the inability of some people to turn off their phones is my pet peeve of the evening. There is nothing on Facebook that is so important that you can’t wait until the show is over.

Be kind. Show respect. Turn off your phone.

The Saga of the Missing Cat

In anticipation of my husband’s birthday party and 100 guests walking in and out of our home, we decided to board our cats with Plantation Animal Hospital, the veterinarian we had used for over three years in Macon, GA.  You can imagine our surprise when, on Friday afternoon, someone from the vet’s office called and asked us to come as soon as we could.  She was apologetic when she explained one of our cats, Chanel, had escaped.  The person who was moving the cats from their individual crates to the kennel had left both crates open, and at the same time had left a door to the outside propped open with a rock.

Chanel always tried to escape outside and this was exactly the reason we had decided to board them.  They would be safe, right?  Wrong. We made our way to the vet’s office and walked all around outside, calling Chanel and looking for signs of her.  Heartbroken, we went home after an hour of futile searching.

By Saturday afternoon, we were frantic and had exhausted our search efforts.  We posted photos and notices on social media and animal rescue sites, but we heard nothing. At 2:00 p.m., my very sad daughter posted a negative review on the veterinarian’s website, and got an immediate response:  they had found our cat and she was secure inside.  Soon after, I got an apologetic email from one of the vets, Dr. Susan Howard. It would be too little, too late.

Early Monday afternoon, my husband went to pick up the cats and bring them home.  You can imagine his surprise when our grey and white female cat had been transformed into a black male cat!  Surprise quickly turned to anger.  I was on a plane already for a business trip, so I was of no use.  All I could do was worry.  How could this be?  I had sent them photos of the cat.  They had records of the cat, so how could they confuse a black male with a petite grey female cat?  Had anyone even seen our cat?   Don’t cats have medical records?  Especially when this has been her vet for over three years and she had been boarded in the past?

We had two cats at the time, Chanel and Valentino. I had Chanel from the time she was a kitten and I inherited Valentino as an older cat, from my cousin, and he was not my favorite cat.  I had him only because my cousin’s dog kept trying to eat him, and I took him to keep him from going to a shelter.  But we never connected.  One of our grandsons said we needed to respect him anyway, because he was a cat. I could have dealt with losing Valentino, but not Chanel.

 On Monday night, four days later, and we still had no Chanel and no answers.  Chanel is the best pet I’ve ever owned, with the possible exception of my horse, and I was so angry.  Two weeks passed and still no answers.  Animal rescue groups shared my blog post and Plantation Animal Hospital blocked me on Facebook and Twitter.   My friends persisted in sharing “wanted” posters and in calling the vet.  I was heartbroken.  The vet used my photo and made a reward poster, which was shared throughout the area.  $500 for my cat.  They needed to do that.

Three weeks after Chanel disappeared, someone found her and claimed the reward.  She weighed less than 5 pounds.   The vet gave her IV fluids and checked her thoroughly.  We were finally able to bring her home.

This sounds like old news, and maybe it is, however just this past week I have had two friends who have had bad experiences with this same animal hospital.  I’ve had other friends whose cats have been lost by vets.

We’ve since found another vet that we like and Chanel seems okay with him.  The office is nice and they get us in fast.  I like them.  Two years later and we still don’t board Chanel when we travel.

I wish I could tell you how to find a good vet.  Get recommendations from trusted friends and read the reviews online.  Meet the doctor and the staff and ask questions.  Veterinarians are so specialized now and make sure the doctor you choose is comfortable with your breed.  You and your pet should both be comfortable.

What an experience!