Don’t Be A Rapist

The following was originally written by my son, Andy Greenway, and is published with permission.

The details surrounding rapist Brock Allen Turner’s rape of an innocent young woman (did I mention that he’s a rapist? Brock Turner, that is; as in “Brock Turner, rapist”? Just to clarify.) remind me of something that happened to my brother and I just a little over a year ago. We had gone to Verizon Amphitheater to see ZZ Top and Jeff Beck. The tickets were a graduation present, and my brother drove us up there from Fayetteville. I had a few beers during the concert and by the time the show ended I was enjoying a healthy buzz. As we made our way back to the parking lot after the show, I noticed one particular couple in the crowd ahead of us. The woman was clearly inebriated—this is not an uncommon sight after a ZZ Top performance—and she seemed to be having a hard time walking, so much so that the man had her by her left arm, and almost seemed to be leading her along. Their progress was slowed considerably by the lady’s condition, and by the time we got near Michael’s truck we had almost caught up to them. The young woman pulled away from the man, and sat down on the ground next to a garbage can. I could see the man trying to help her to her feet before he walked off and got into a pick-up truck that was parked nearby; a lowered, crew-cab step-side GMC with a turquoise over white paint job. Michael and I didn’t think anything of the incident; like I said, drunk people were everywhere—one more hammered girl in a crowd of beer drinkers and hell raisers wasn’t going to raise any eyebrows. The traffic was pretty heavy; Michael and I were waiting to pull out of our parking space when we saw the same pick-up truck pull up next to the girl by the trash can. The driver got out and went over to the girl. We couldn’t hear what they were saying—Michael’s windows were rolled up and it was too far away—but it seemed pretty clear that he was trying to get her to come with him and she didn’t want to. When he grabbed her arm and she jerked it away I decided it was time to do something. I told Michael that I would be right back, and then I got out of the truck and started walking toward the couple. When I got about twenty feet away I called out to them, basically asking if everything was okay. The guy looked at me over his shoulder, and then quickly went back to his truck, got in and drove off. By now the traffic in the parking lot had died down enough that, other than Michael’s truck, there were only a few vehicles in our corner of the parking lot. I didn’t know what was going on with the young woman; I wasn’t sure if her date or her boyfriend or whatever had just abandoned her in the parking lot or what but, between the way my parents raised me and the values instilled in me by the United States Marine Corps, I couldn’t just leave a young, drunk women in a dark corner of a parking lot, so I walked over, squatted down next to her, and introduced myself. I don’t remember her name, but she was plastered. Absolutely shit-faced. I was eventually able to figure out that she had gotten separated from her boyfriend and the folks they’d come to the concert with. As far as the guy in the low-rider went, she had no idea who he was, he had promised to help her find her friends, but she had balked at getting in his truck. I don’t blame her. I told her that I would help her walk back to the front gates to find her friends. I noticed an iPhone on the ground next to her, and the screen showed several missed calls from one number, so I swiped the screen on the hunch that that was her friends trying to find her. I was right, and after a few confusing minutes while I established my bona fides and assured her friends that I wasn’t cruising around looking for someone to put the lotion in the basket we were able to work out a meeting place at one of the entrances to the amphitheater. We found her friends, everyone was reunited and happy, and I walked back to Michael’s truck, where he had been waiting patiently for the half-hour or so it took to find the girl’s missing friends. We both agreed that it was fortunate that we’d been there to help her out, otherwise we might’ve heard about her on the six o’clock news, and I couldn’t live with the knowledge that I could have helped someone avoid tragedy and didn’t. I didn’t give the guy in the low-rider another thought. Within a few days, the whole incident faded from memory.

It wasn’t until I started reading about rapist Brock Allen Turner’s exploits that I thought about that young woman in the Verizon Amphitheater, and the guy in the pick-up truck. I’ve never known what his intentions were, but I’m pretty much convinced that they weren’t honorable. I don’t know if he was trying to take advantage of a drunk woman, or if he was a serial rapist with dozens of sexual assaults under his belt. Either way, it makes no difference. Rape is rape. Turner’s father called it “twenty minutes of action”—as if his POS son was wounded in the first wave at Normandy—but its rape. Lying to a drunk woman in order to lure her into your vehicle is a real pre-rapey way to start your evening in my book, now that I think about it, and I can’t think of too many possible happy endings for that young woman if she’d gotten into that truck. For my brother and me it’s simple: don’t rape; and taking advantage of a woman because she’s inebriated is rape. I think our parents did an excellent job teaching us that lesson as young men; it’s a shame that more parents can’t do the same. A woman’s virtue is worth defending, regardless of her blood-alcohol-content. Let me try and state this as clearly as possible: Guys, don’t try and score with the girl that’s so drunk she can’t stand up straight. That’s not easy pickins’; that’s rape. Dudes, don’t let your buddies try and score with the super-drunk girls; that’s rape. Don’t let your buddies be rapists. It’s that simple. Don’t rape, and don’t let your buddies rape, and for God’s sake, quit using alcohol as an excuse to justify rape, or to blame rape victims. Brock Allen Turner is a rapist. Don’t be like Brock. Don’t be a rapist.

June 10, 2016

Nonprofit Basics: Cultivating your Donors

 

My husband and I love to donate to charitable organizations. Seriously. We do it because we believe in giving back. We like to support organizations that do good. One organization has just gotten its last donation from us. There are ways to cultivate donors, and there are ways to drive them away.

Fundraising is a huge part of any nonprofit organization, whether it is a church, a theatre, public television, or a helath care organization. As board chair of two nonprofits and board member of three others, I am used to asking for money. We also support several other organizations whose missions we believe in and whom we know do a great job meeting their objectives.   With so many organizations competing for donations, how do you attract and keep your supporters?

  1. Reach out and touch. Remember the old AT&T commercial where they advised us to “reach out and touch”? There is so much to be said for this. Chances are good that you have a prostpective donor list, and chances are even better that you run into these people on a fairly regular basis. If not, there’s always the phone. Let your donors know that you’re there and that you care. You might consider keeping a spreadsheet with the donors’ birthdays, anniversaries, and any other key information, then use that when you’re on the phone to trigger conversation.
  2. Celebrate your successes. Donors want to know your organization is making a difference. Unless you are public broadcasting and have a constant presence, it is important that you have SMART objectives and you let your donors know when objectives are met.   The Mercer University Children’s Choir offers free concerts several times each year to allow families and donors the opportunity to see the progress. They also maintain an active Facebook page where donors can follow the choir and its upcoming events. There are lots of opportunities to see their successes.
  3. Thank your donors. People want to be recognized for their contributions. Piedmont Players is a nonprofit community theatre company in Salisbury, North Carolina, and they have a substantial playbill for each of their performances. The playbill recognizes donors at all levels, as well as corporate sponsors. They’ve grown to the point where they have two buildings, one for the mainstage and one for children’s theatre.   Though strictly voluteer, this community theatre has become a destination for central North Carolina.
  4. Personalize your invitations. Mass mailings are often overlooked and sometimes get lost in the mail and mailing services are not always reliable.   Remember you are inviting people because you want them to donate and to continue to support your organization. The small amount of time it takes to include a personal note is one that can really pay off. The Atlanta Opera is excellent at this. When phone calls are used instead of written notes, they are personal and always begin with a greeting
  5. Be direct in your ask. You donated $300 last year; can we put you down for $500 this year? “Could I put you done for $1000?” This gives the donor the option to offer a different amount. I received a letter from an organization that I had promised to support, which read, “We’re trying to do our budget so how much are you going to give?” To be perfectly honest, I was a little startled by the tone of this letter from someone who had not engaged me at all. It was a local organization and a phone call would have made that important connection that is more likely to result in a higher donation. When they followed up with an invoice for the agreed amount, my view of the contribution went from donation to the dreaded bill.
  6. Value and nurture your relationships with donors. A local nonprofit recently had an anniversary celebration and posted photos on their Facebook page, but many of the donors responded that had no idea the event was taking place. The administrator siad that they had used a mailing service and were sorry that some people might not have received their invitation. She said that they couldn’t afford to post it online as an event, because of their budget, so they were sorry if donors/subscribers didn’t know about it.   This response did nothing to appease supporters who should have been invited.

Most people who donate to nonprofit organizations begin the year with an idea of how much they will donate and what causes are meaningful to them. A carefully constructed plan to cultivate the existing donors can go far in promoting donor loyalty. With so many organizations competing for donors’ generosity, your organization cannot afford to overlook these important development opportunities.

 

 

Summer Thunderstorms and Airline Traffic

Pardon my rant, but we are coming up on thunderstorm season. Last week, I spent two hours on an airplane listening to a man irrationally rant about Delta Air Line’s horrible service.  Since events like this will become even more common as the atmosphere gets hotter in the summer, I would like to explain this to anyone who may be stuck on an airplane, sitting at the gate. Stop complaining.

Allow me to set the stage:  The plane is leaving Washington, D.C. for Atlanta, Georgia. Between Dulles and Atlanta, a line of thunderstorms was painting yellow and red on the Weather Channel’s radar, and probably worse in the cockpit. Yellow means bad and red means REALLY bad, like, unsafe bad. Even dark green can mean the flight will be very uncomfortable and you will not get your Coke and pretzels.  You cannot even get up to go to the bathroom when the radar is painting dark green.  But when the radar turns yellow and red, the FAA’s Air Route Traffic Control Center (ARTCC) will very likely institute a ground stop or a gate hold. Last week’s ground stop came from Atlanta ARTCC.

What is a ground stop?  In simplest terms and in this case, it means aircraft coming into Atlanta have to stay where they are, no matter where they were coming from. They cannot take off. More than likely, the plane cannot even leave the gate. Why? There is only so much asphalt available at any airport. There are only so many gates available for parking. Planes need to leave before more planes can land. This is not Delta’s fault. It is not even the FAA’s fault. If you must blame someone, blame God for the storms. With a ground stop, planes are held at the departure point to avoid a backlog on the ground at the arrival point. Pure and simple.

Here is what I know. Pilots do not get paid until the aircraft leaves the gate. If you have a gate hold, I can promise you that pilot is not any happier than this than you are. Pilots love to fly. This is a universal truth. Every pilot loves to fly; otherwise, they would not risk their livelihood with every visit to the doctor.  Pilots put their career on the lines every time they go to the doctor for even a cold, and every six months for a first class FAA medical exam.  Sinuses, blood pressure, and blood sugar are three factors that can end a career.

Delta does not like flight delays. American does not like flight delays. Air traffic control hates flight delays. No airline likes flight delays. The fuel to run the power on the ground to keep the air conditioner running is not free. Flight delays mean inconvenienced and unhappy passengers, but flight delays cost money. Who do you think is paying to keep the air conditioning on, while you sit at the gate? Regardless of what you think, every airline wants happy passengers. Even the worst airline wants happy passengers. No one is trying to make you unhappy. No one is trying to inconvenience you. This I know:  as inconvenienced as you are, multiply this times at least 1000 for the airline.  The airline has to reschedule hundreds of flights, flight crews, ground crews, and passengers. It is a lot of work.

Next time you are sitting at the gate, wondering whether you will make your connecting flight, think about the value of flight safety. Thunderstorms are dangerous and the danger extends beyond the clouds themselves.  Wouldn’t you rather be safe?  Seriously?

 

 

Decisions, Decisions

All online schools and courses are not created equal. I happen to love distance learning and I work hard to provide my students with the best experience possible. As a student, I have studied under outstanding professors in the traditional classroom and online, and I’ve had horrible professors in both settings. As a faculty member, I work hard to give my students the best possible experience, regardless of the settings. I do this through personalization, engagement, and innovation, and received the James P. Etter Award in 2014 for my efforts. Many of my online students finish the class feeling as if they know me as a person, and some later become friends.

 

One of my few regrets is that I never went back to school for my MSN. My first degree was an ADN and I became a RN in 1975. I had a wonderful career but not in traditional nursing. I was in the right place at the right time and I took advantage of every opportunity, so the fact that my degrees were not in nursing was no problem. I have a BA, a Masters of Science in Health Policy, and a PhD in Organization and Management. I’m an Airline Transport Pilot, which is the PhD of aviation. I’ve worked hard and I’ve loved every step of the way. But I wanted the MSN.

 

I am a full-time faculty member at one of the best online universities. I believe in our organization and in our leadership. I have so much faith in our leadership that I am not interested in looking for another job. I’m here. I’m present. I work hard and I give it my best effort. But I wanted this additional degree. My husband said, “You have a terminal degree. Why are you doing this?” A very dear friend said the same thing. I said, “Because I’ve always wanted this and because I can.” One of my art teachers said I needed to think about being a human being and not a human doing, but I wanted it. It was a goal I had not fulfilled.

 

I recently completed my first course, an online 16 week course. I chose this established traditional, nonprofit university that offered a fully online option because (1) the degree is a lifelong goal of mine, (2) the specific program was not offered at my school, and (3) I’ve clearly lost my mind. The positives: (1) the admission process was easy, (2) the transfer credit process was a breeze, (3) their outstanding customer service during the entire process from student services and admissions, and finally, (4) a well-structured orientation. They really acted like I was valuable. Now for the negatives: (1) very limited involvement with the professor, (2) late grading with no feedback, (3) awkward course setup, (4) carelessness in the course setup, including typos in the grading rubric, (5) 16 weeks is way too long for this course. There were times I felt they were just pulling content out of the air to fill up space. This may be due to accreditation, but if I had designed the curriculum I could have cut the length.

 

Will I continue? I don’t know. I am taking a term off. I have had no quality of life, much like during my doctoral program. This is not a degree I ever plan to use so it isn’t like I need it; I’m doing this solely for the satisfaction of saying I did it and that I will have completed a 40 year goal. I have no plans to ever leave my job, because I love what I do and I have so much respect for the leadership. This goes back to something I’ve said so many time, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

 

But maybe I should. Or not. We’ll see.  But if you are considering online education, let me know.

Missing Cat Saga

In anticipation of my husband’s birthday party and 100 guests walking in and out of our home, we decided to board our cats with Plantation Animal Hospital, the veterinarian we have used for over three years in Macon, GA. You can imagine our surprise when, on Friday afternoon, someone from the vet’s office called and asked us to come as soon as we could. She was apologetic when she explained one of our cats, Chanel, had escaped. The person who was moving the cats from their individual crates to the kennel had left both crates open, and at the same time had left a door to the outside propped open with a rock.

Chanel likes to go outside and this was exactly the reason we had decided to board them. They would be safe, right? Wrong. We made our way to the vet’s office and walked all around outside, calling Chanel and looking for signs of her. Heartbroken, we went home after an hour of futile searching.

By Saturday afternoon, we were frantic and had exhausted our search efforts. We posted photos and notices on social media and animal rescue sites, but we heard nothing. At 2:00 p.m., my very sad daughter posted a negative review on the veterinarian’s website, and got an immediate response: they had found our cat and she was secure inside. Soon after, I got an apologetic email from one of the vets, Dr. Susan Howard. It would be too little, too late.

Early Monday afternoon, my husband went to pick up the cats and bring them home. You can imagine his surprise when our grey and white female cat had been transformed into a black male cat! Surprise quickly turned to anger. I was on a plane already for a business trip, so I was of no use. All I could do was worry. How could this be? I had sent them photos of the cat. They had records of the cat, so how could they confuse a black male with a petite grey female cat? Had anyone even seen our cat?   Don’t cats have medical records? Especially when this has been her vet for over three years and she has been boarded in the past?

Now it is Tuesday and we have no Chanel and no answers. Chanel is the best pet I’ve ever owned, with the possible exception of my horse. This will be another sleepless night.

I am just so sad.12771995_10153900318852667_1039801469935224571_o